A few people have asked me why I stopped writing and editing HBSledgehammer. com.
“So and so has been looking for you.” “They asked about you and were wondering where you were…”
Some insisted that I only appeared to be getting warmed up, and confided that they looked forward to their regular dose of my profanity laced observations and childish humor. In hindsight, It was nice to go out on top, at the hieght of the outrage and conversation I started.
The truth is, right now, I have far more important things to tend to than skewering the local idiots in politics and the assorted hangers on and minions. Recent introspection has caused me to look deep within myself and assess some of the things I have done or said and the way in which I have partitioned my time and energy.
In retrospect, I wasted countless hours and mental energy on things and people that simply weren’t worth the time, and ignored the things that ultimately mattered to such a degree, that I created lasting damage to the things and people that really mattered.
I decided to implement fundamental changes in the way I lived my life. I figured that at my age, I only had one shot left to live the way I should and to rid myself of the character defects and bad habits that were slowly strangling me.
I decided to smash the bottle of poison that clouded my mind and actions. I threw away the false sustenance I received from the garbage I was ingesting, posing as food. I renewed my relationship with my Creator and turned my will over to him.
I made a conscious irrevocable decision to undo the damage I had done and began the ongoing process of clearing away the wreckage and debris I had generated in my family, by my self serving nature and behavior.
The other day, my wife was asked in front of an audience what she admired most about me.
Her answer humbled me.
“His perseverance. He doesn’t give up and always stays in the fight…”
Being the tough guy that I try to project, I simply smiled and looked at my feet.
Inside I was crying. I felt honored that she found that my most redeeming quality.
My only hope is that I can live up to her words.
Ive posted this song before. No doubt I will post it again.
Don’t give in.